Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
