i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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