We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
