We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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