He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
