my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
