that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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