sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
