and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
