At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
