Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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