Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
