There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
