Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I could make wine with my vomit
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
