maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
