dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I smell stomach acid.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
