i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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