another moral hangover. fuck.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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