I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Oh god it's open bar.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
