You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
they need to just BURY HIM!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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