Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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