Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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