Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
ttyl tear gas
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
