dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
