I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
