Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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