dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
