so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
