I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize