Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
