Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
