Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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