Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
