i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
