Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize