pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize