i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
