i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
