Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
