So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
