my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's never too late to be topless.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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