Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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