guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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