I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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