I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize