what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
worst night to have a conscience
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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