i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize