I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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