Dual....:-)
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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