pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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