worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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