The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
