So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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