It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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