guys are not supposed to queef...right?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize