The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
