i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
