Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize