The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I hate all girls vehemently.
Screwed.edu
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
