So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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