my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
