worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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