Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
