There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
