She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize