I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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