Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize