butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
