I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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