at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
