Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
