she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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