I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
