I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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