i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
